I’ve struggled with the addiction to heavy drugs for years now. My whole life I was told what a loser I am, what a whore I am, Ugly/fat ect.. Basically i’ve had poor selfasteem for too long in my life. There were times where i felt like dying.. yes killing myself. But it’s easier said than done.
Sometimes I wonder where I would be right now if i never had touched heavy drugs. Where my life would have taken me if i never made the mistakes that I have. The people that I never would have met. Anyways, It all started with pot smoking which I try to stay away from this present day. Pot smoking seems ‘cool’ and the ‘right’ thing to do if you want to fit in. I found my comfort in using heavier drugs after a while since pot wasn’t cuttin’ it.
When I began to fall into a dark hole that was called my ‘life’ I began to realize who I was becoming. An even more miserable, drug-addict, nobody that everyone said I was. I made tons of mistakes. Mistakes that a lot of people would be really ashammed to even talk about or admit to doing. I’m still haunted by some of the things that i’ve done in the past. But no one can change the past, only continue on to a brighter future.
At this very moment in life, I feel like i’m finally discovering who I really am. The person i’ve always want to be. A sober me! I’m off to rehab today for a while. I don’t know how long i’ll be gone but hopefully I learn tons of coping skills and meet a bunch of inspiring people who will help me realize what life is all about.
& this is where my recovery starts!